Thanks for Nothin’

If anyone says “Thanks for nothing” in my home, I consider it a compliment.

Years ago while visiting the in laws, my father in law, always being the attentive host, offered us a snack. One by one we said yes I’d like a piece of pie, cake or cookie. However when he came to my middle child, my son said he didn’t care for anything. After the pleasantries and treats were exchanged, we gathered the kids and headed out the door. Upon leaving we took our turns saying goodbye and thanks for the cake, thanks for the pie, thanks for the cookie. When it came to my son’s turn, he said goodbye and then hesitated with a puzzled look, remembering he hadn’t had any pie, cake, or cookie. Being the polite little boy he was, he happily uttered “Thanks for nothin”.

This year I am thankful for the nothingness of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving, the ignored middle child of holidays. Casually stuffed between the favored ones, Halloween and Christmas. Quietly enduring years of indifference, yet never clamoring for attention. Oh genteel Thanksgiving, you ask for nothing but thankful hearts and sharing tables. For this reason I declare Thanksgiving the Sweetheart of all holidays, and to me, you will always be the golden child.  Here’s to you and a big THANKS for nothing times ten!

  1. parents that showed me nothing but unconditional love.
  2. year after year seeing my family share their something thanksgiving, with many who had nothing.
  3. a husband that is the calm in my storm, who says nothing at the right time.
  4. kids and grandkids who bring nothing but their wonderful happy energetic selves to Sunday dinner ;)
  5. abundant cupboards and pantry, yet having the willpower to eat nothing.
  6. rare beautiful days with nowhere to be and nothing to do.
  7. the off button on the television, computer, cell phone, etc., immersing the air and my crazy head in nothingness.
  8. connecting to another human being with nothing but eye contact and a smile.
  9. the knowledge that I would have nothing if not for a merciful and gracious God.
  10. the opportunity and ability to purchase nothing this year for myself—with very few exceptions.

Thank you Thanksgiving  for coming with no costumes, no candy in bags, no ribbons, no packages, no presents with tags.

Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all Thanks for nothin’!

The Rationale Buyer

As far as sales and signs go, I rarely—well except for the last 9 months—pass one up. Especially when it’s a “%50 off” , “buy one get one free“, “today only”, “everything must go”, the occasional “bake sale“, and of course the magnetic pull of the “designer shoe sale”. However I have never had a problem ignoring the poorly penned “yard sale” sign. Which I’m sure I gleaned from my mother’s disdain for such an event. She always thought you should donate any excess paraphernalia and not air your dirty laundry in the front yard. Our family’s festering furnishings were shrouded inside the attached double car garage, which never housed a single vehicle. Albeit we did donate a plethora of clutter. But with seven siblings, and a “this will be worth something one day” father, the debris piled up faster than it could be shoveled out. . . I do believe I married my father.

My husband not only has a hard time parting with his stuff, he has recently developed a trust in the mantra “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure“. I Reluctantly, for the last few Saturdays, buckled myself in the passenger seat. After mapping out the local hunting grounds, we zig-zagged our way to suburbia. Rummaging through the shabby chic castoffs—much to my conflicted disturbing surprise—lying beneath a hoard of rubbish and the yellow poster board sign, was some really cool stuff. And at ridiculously low prices. Marvelous things, if bought brand new, would cost a small fortune. In an instant I became a junk sale junkie.

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This is where the rationale rally begins. I will plead my case as to why these “purchases” really aren’t my purchases. #1 – how can you call something that has already been bought and paid for once a true purchase? Which leads into excuse—I mean rationale—#2 – If it’s second hand, I call that recycling. Which is a behavior that more conscientious Americans should adopt. #3 – There is no way any red blooded breathing women, who hasn’t been in a department store or used a charge card for over 9 months, could pass up the following items. . .

Like I said, this abandoned apparatus isn’t for me. This lovely solid crystal vase is a home for the flowers.

This illuminating iron lamp is to shed a little light in a sometimes dark world. Also it let’s my hubby find the door in the morning without banging his shins on the dining room chairs.

A happy home needs a bronze kick plate to protect it’s festive front door from the clunky feet belonging to the welcome anytime grand kiddies.

A kitchen bar without three swivel stools is like a car without the wheels.

What kind of hostess makes a guest hold their own jacket or coat? Why it should be a rule to provide a coat rack in every home’s entry hall.

Whatever you call it, yard sale, estate sale, garage sale, I never thought I’d be a fan. But one garage’s trash can become another house’s treasure. Makes me think back to that overstuffed garage I avoided as a kid. Hopefully some of that neglected abundance has found it’s way to a nice home.

Jet Lagged

If money were no object, I would buy myself a private jet and take flying lessons. For the simple reason I really hate to fly and being in control of my destination would make me feel a whole lot happier. Who ever said money can’t buy happiness did not have a visceral fear of flying. However money is an object, of which I don’t have an endless supply. Making a Cessna Citation Excel nowhere in my pending, or remote future.  At the present—or rather after Dec. 31st 2012 and for the rest of my natural life—I will white knuckle it across the wild blue yonder.

For me, a jet of my very own would be an insightful and purposeful—extravagantly luxurious—purchase.  I have not always been such a savvy shopper. Like many other gullible, “keeping up with the Joneses”  consumers, I bought into the gadgetry makes life easier pitch.

MY CHEAP PLASTIC WALL OF SHAME:

(some sort of food/exercise theme going on there)

In landfills all over the country, lie piles of decaying “must have” gadgets.

When we average people foolishly spend, it literally pales in comparison to the prosperous preposterous purchaser.

THEIR DIAMOND STUDDED WALL OF SHAME:

Somehow I cheapishly thought revisiting my paltry past purchases, compared to those of the uber unashamed, would make me feel better about not buying anything. Not so much! Kinda left a bitter taste in my mouth. Something I know a grand ol’ shopping spree would cure. UGH! Well, Maybe these FREE inspirational and humorous quotes will cleanse my palate.

***

“The more I study the wealthy . . . in an effort to learn how to help more people around the world become one of them.. I’m stunned by how many people are actually not rich.”
~ David Bach

“Don’t tell me where your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I’ll tell you what they are.”  ~ James W. Frick quotes

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. ”  funny Jackie Mason quotes

“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” ~ J.P. Getty

“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.” ~ Woody Allen

***

Feeling a smidgeon better. Hey, there is a stainless steel lining. By not purchasing for a whole year, I should save enough to be able to buy me that flying machine by the year 200000013. Coincidentally that’s the price of a Cessna Citation Excel. Now feeling a bit jet lagged combined with some motion sickness. I think I need one more motivating mantra.

“Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you invest, investigate. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try. Before you retire, save. Before you die, give.” ~ William A. Ward

I would, I would, I would give. If I had me a private jet. I would let all my friends fly for free. Except maybe a few bucks for gas ;)  Now I feel better.

Orange You Happy It’s Summer?!

Ahhhh, the long hot lazy days of summer. Time to drape yourself in it’s sparkling new cloak of orangeness.

Sadly, for me there will be no cloak of any color. This summer only brings to mind that good old Gershwin tune; “Summertime and the livin’  is pricey . . . Your daddy’s rich, but your momma ain’t spendin’ . . . ” or something like that. So what does momma do when she can’t buy a happy summer? She mopes around the house, pining over the on-line catalogs filled with forbidden juicy orange fruit.  Until . . .

she read the writing on the wall. And laughed as she thought, maybe summer doesn’t come from a store. Maybe summer . . . perhaps . . . means a little bit more.

Like chillin’ on the patio, sipping a glass of fresh squeezed.

Or an old swimming noodle made into a wreath.

Admiring the lilies trimming the lawn.

Painting the door with a bright coat of fun.

And feeling the grass between sandal-less toes. Painted purple, not orange, ’cause that’s all that she has.

What a bummer!

HAPPY SANS-PURCHASING SUMMER!